Why is it so hard?

Some people find comfort by exposing their inner feelings through diaries, blogs, bestfriends and even mothers. Well, previously I find it through my darling mother. But recently, after my sister caught me smoking at home (she told Mama eventually), I was labelled as unthrustworty. So everything that happened to me, she thinks that it is wholly reflects on the smoking part.

I wanted to tell her about, the 'girl' who bitch about me in her blog. (the girl actually was kinda close to our family). I wanted so bad to tell her everything. The things she wrote. But all I managed to say..

"Ma, -she- kutuk Ika dalam blog dia ma"

"Apa pasal? Ini mesti ada buat pape la kat dia tu"

"No I didnt! The things she wrote was totally not my intention. About me getting new stuff, new makeup, handbags and such. She's just jealous Ma!"

"No! There must be something. Owh and you smoked eh kat sana?! (Cyber). Nanti dia bitau Mummy karang! Im still mad at you right now!"

Aghhhhhh! I was this close to tell Mama that she's a heavier smoker than I am! I'm only a social smoker, who smokes when I feel like it, not when my brain goes ga-ga if I dont get that cancer sticks. ( no offence people, its only a paradox) hehe!

So basically I was left speechless. I cant defend myself if the bullets are practically flying in the air. I salam her, then off to campus. Crying half way while listening to Christina Aguilera's Hurt! Haha! EMOOOO!

But I did some bitching with my small sister. Who practically hates her too! Love you! Mwahx!

p/s: names will not be included. as I am still a good person. unlike some people i know.

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my darling sayang, Intan Bee ! Mwahx!

not so 'lovely day'

It has been raining since petang! heavy rain here in cyber. Plus, for a very long time, I finally got the flu. My throat hurts, watery nose and eyes. God! I'm sure no more details needed right? 930pm, heading to Hassan Cafe (mamak at Street Mall Cyber). I dont know why im keen to go there, the food? Hell no? The mamaks? Shit no. BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE TO GO HERE! need to get panadol ASAP! or i'll be missing my 2nd week of class. cheers!

previous blog

Finally! I've been wanting to create a new blog for months. Atlast. Recent happenings made me realise that I should get started with a new one. The old one reflects the sweeter side of me. Well this blog kinda consists of both. "Cross fingers". That's the problem of being me. There are loads going on in mylife, harsh ones, but I chose not to reveal it as it might offend other parties..but, the truth is, they're the ones whose revealling all of it inside their blogs about me!

"Ika! stop being such a conserned freak, and just write what you want to write! It's your blog, you have the right!"

"But Ika, people might read it. They will judge you. They will hate you."

From the loving bf " Stop thinking about what people might think about you sayang! To hell with them"

Dilemma!